2 What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

3 What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

4 How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.

5 What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

6 Why is the space between a woman’s breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of t * ts in there.

7  How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

8 Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don’t have balls to scratch.

9 Why did God create woman ?
To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.

10 Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

11 What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she’s been told twice already.

12  If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long

13 How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

14 Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

15 Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

16 How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with ‘A man once told me…’

17 How do you fix a woman’s watch?
You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.

18 Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

19 If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.

20 What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won’t do what she’s told

21 I married a Miss Right.
I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

22  Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%..
It’s called a Wedding Cake.

23 Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

24 Women will never be equal to men..
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Now if like me you are happy with the current party in Fuengirola, make sure to vote for the PP and support our Mayoress ESPERANZA OÑA.

Not saying she’s perfect (which politician is?), but I think she is doing a good job for this town, and the PSOE (socialists) seem to be a bunch of (insert explicative). You only have to watch the debates on the Fuengirola TV to see the sort of calibre of people they are.

Any support the PP and let’s see Fuengirola Advanza!

Esperanza Oña Facebook page

Partido Popular Fuengirola

I have no problem working fewer hours, or AENA hiring more staff. Seems sensible as you don’t want air-traffic controllers making mistakes. But then they should take less pay. Halve their pay, so the worst off makes only 100.000€ a year and double the amount of staff.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the hard  work they do, and the commitment they have to make, but that is the reason for the financial incentive. They cannot expect an easier job at the same pay.

How the air-traffic controller must have panicked when they heard the Spanish government wanted to sell a 49% stake in AENA! They are worried that their pay would come more into line with international (ie: lower pay) standards.

Now let’s see if the air-traffic controllers have gone to far as the spanish government is looking for the guilty parties now.

Lets see what happens next

But what many people don’t know is:

“The average basic salary is €200,000 (£176k), but most workers double or triple this by working overtime.

Of 2,300 controllers, ten were paid between €810,000 (£725k) and €900,000 last year. A further 226 were paid between €450,000 and €540,000 and 701 were paid between €270,000 and €360,000.”
I’m sorry, why are they striking? Its obviously can’t be due to the pay, most people would kill for that sort of income! So maybe it’s the working hours?

“In Spain, air traffic controllers work 12-hour days made up of two four-hour shifts and two, two-hour rest periods.”

My heart bleeds for these poor men and women who are work under such slavish conditions!

There have even been threats by the government creating a state of emergency to force these people back to work. So they bloody should, how dare they strike! If they are not happy with the pay, maybe they should quite their job and go find some other work? No not going to do that are they? Maybe working 40 hour weeks and receiving 900€ a month, might teach them to appreciate how unbelievably lucky they are, because at the moment they seem like bloody spoilt children!

Air-traffic controller strike

Air-traffic controller pay, hours, etc..



Not your facebook related shit where you have to get friends to farm your land (so says south park). But a site where you get to join a world of nations, join regions, vote of UN resolutions, etc… All in all a bit sad, I know.

But there is a very good forum attached to it, with some very heavy weight debaters discussing all major topics. If you’ve never been to the site and you enjoy discussions this is the place to go.

The idea behind the law is that if only for consumption its not particularly harmful, only when your funding a criminal group. Might not work in practice though quite a few people sell small amounts of weed or hashish down here. I just assume the ‘farm’ was illegal. But there also seems to be less of a ‘mystic’ about it.

Like alcohol. Its something you might enjoy in moderation. Not like in many of the other places ive lived!

So anyway, looks like ill have a small project in March/April, the time I’m told is best to start growing outside. As I understanding I should not have more than 3 plants really. Anything more might be considered as with intent to sell.

I apologize for writing you an unsolicited email, but I felt compelled to due to the unethical and unprofessional actions of Wolfgang Brand.

My name is Andrew Clark and I operated as a commercial agent on the coast for 5 years with an office in Fuengirola. Some of you may know me from my business CENSORED and I traded with the website CENSORED.

Wolfgang Brand worked for me on the SEO for my websites and I have to say he did a great job for me. I paid him on time, regularly and quite substantially for his services. He was always knocking at my door for advances or loans, to which I would often help him – I am sure you have had him ask you this too!

I along with the clients he had back then, kept his business floating – until his bubble burst due to his lack of financial management and he seems to be starting a new project every month in an attempt to survive (which is fair enough), with the latest project being “Commercial Property Sales”.

He has a website CENSORED  and CENSORED

Wolfgang wanted to buy my website CENSORED back in March and I declined to sell it to him by way of installments as I knew he would be unable to make the repayments to me.

Wolfgang and I fell out and agreed not to speak to each other any more – to which we have stuck to and we have not been in contact since March.

Wolfgang had FTP to my website and I always trusted him and respected his work. Stupidly, I never removed the FTP access for him after we ‘parted company’.

On May 5th Wolfgang decided that he would add my website CENSORED to his Google webmaster account, which he validated via FTP to my website. He then instructed Google that my website was no longer on-line and that all traffic should be diverted to his website CENSORED  The only way I found this was that I checked our search position as we were getting no internet leads – when I checked, his website appeared for every search where my website should have been. I got my web guy here in the USA to check into it for me and he found what he had done. We then removed the FTP and rejected the changes that Wolfgang had made.

Even after making the changes back, he remained at the top of Google for 3 weeks and my site was vanished. It is now back at the top and his site is now slowly disappearing.

Imagine if I was unable to find what had happened? My site would have been destroyed! Thankfully we are at the top of Google again!

Now, this is how he acts towards me, after paying him good money for 5 years and my message to you is this …………….  just be aware of the type of man you are dealing with.

I live in the United States and have no concerns with the Coast any longer, so this is a genuine email to warn you about Wolfgang Brand. He will probably respond (not that he knows who has this email as I BCCd it!!!) with a long email telling you what a bad man I am and how wonderful he is and I agree he is a good salesman and will probably fool some people, however, what he says about me is not relevant as you are not doing business with me and you never will …….. but you are with him!

Wolfgang Brand has a history of acting with ill-repute; he served time in Prison for obtaining money by making out it was for a charity, he regularly cheats on his wife and rarely delivers what he says for his clients.

Like I said, I live 5000 miles away and have a new life, new businesses and no concerns with the CDS ………… just do yourself a favor and just watch your back if you ever fall out with this treacherous little man.

If anybody requires more information, please feel free to email me privately.

I hope business is picking up down there!

Kind Regards

Andrew Clark.

The Godfather tells the lawyer ‘Ask him where
the $10 million bucks he embezzled from me is.’

The attorney, using sign  language, asks the
bookkeeper where the money is. The bookkeeper  signs back: ‘I
don’t know what you are talking about.’

The attorney tells the Godfather: ‘He says he
doesn’t know what you’re talking about.’

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the
bookkeeper’s temple and says, ‘Ask him again!’

The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: ‘He’ll kill you if you don’t
tell him!’

The bookkeeper signs back: ‘OK! OK! You win! The
money is  in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo’s
backyard in Queens !’

The  Godfather asks the attorney: ‘Well,
what’d he say?’

The  attorney replies: ‘He says you don’t
have the balls to pull the  trigger.’

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman.

Many females use a date-rape-drug on the market called ‘Beer’ .

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs.

Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.

A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several Beers , men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking Beer , men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that ‘something bad’ occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life’s savings, in a familiar scam known as ‘a relationship’ . In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as ‘marriage’.

Men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please forward this warning to every male you know.

If you fall victim to this ‘ Beer ‘ scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.

For the support group nearest you, just look up RUGBY CLUB in the phone book.

For a video to see how Beer works click here.