Leave your brain on the plane

August 19, 2009 at 16:58 (fuengirola) (, , , )

I must admit, I never thought I would say it, but GODDAMN tourists are stupid. First we have the traditional street walkers. Don’t get excited I’m not talking about prostitutes, but those fucking idiots who seem to think that because they are on holiday in a holiday resort, walking down the middle of the street is acceptable and all local drivers have got cat like reflexes and can dodge pedestrians coming from the left, right and above at the same time! We can’t! Get of the fucking road or don’t complain if you get clipped by the occasional side mirror (funny seeing them jump).

Then you have those lovely tourists who seem to believe that because they are on holiday they have some psychic armour that will keep thieves away. They are so confident on this point that the average tourist will walk down the street with the handbag/man-bag/etc… unzipped/unbuttoned bouncing away behind them. Or leave it on the beach while the entire family goes into the water to cool off. No need to give it a second thought, as well all know, no thief dares go onto the beach.

Come on people! All in all I’ve seen really little crime down here, what I have seen involves pissed up Brits having a punch up with whoever is in reach. But thieves are opportunists, if you look like a target, you become a target. Just because you’re on holiday don’t mean the thieves are! Nor are the locals who still need to go to work and generally live there lives.

Oh and last thing, if some English twat jumps of a moped and gives you a scratch card, and (surprisingly) you’ve won, IT’S A TIMESHARE SCAM. Politely tell them to stuff the lottery ticket up there ass and keep on walking.

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