VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES

May 31, 2011 at 11:32 (Web) (, , , , )

1 How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

2 What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

3 What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman
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Mafia boss

February 25, 2010 at 21:47 (Web) (, , , , , )

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has
cheated him out of $10 million bucks. His bookkeeper is
deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It  was assumed
that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything  that
he might have to testify about in court.
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Watch out for sexual predators

February 9, 2010 at 10:18 (fuengirola, Web) (, , , , , , , )

After a near miss on a recent night out, I just wanted to warn everyone of some of the sexual predators out there. Thanks to my friend I saved myself from feelings of regret and Embarrassment.

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Irish sex joke

January 26, 2010 at 17:36 (Web) (, , , , , , , )

John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, ‘Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!’

That promptly won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
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Naked joke

January 26, 2010 at 13:31 (Web) (, , , , , )

A Bloke’s just moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While he was there a little peach of a bird in a robe came out of her apartment next to the mailboxes.

The bloke smiled at the young woman, and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
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The Pearly Gates

November 13, 2009 at 20:52 (Web) (, , , , , , , , )

40 Gypsies arrive at the Pearly Gates in their Transit vans and caravans.

St Peter goes into the gatehouse and phones up God, saying. ‘I’ve got 40
travellers here. Can I let them in?’

God says ‘We are over quota on Pikeys . Go out to the Pearly Gates and tell them to choose
between them which are the 12 most worthy, and I will let just the dozen in.’

Less than a minute later St Peter is on the phone to God again. ‘They’ve
gone’, he tells God.

‘What?’ says God, ‘All 40 of them?’

‘No, the Pearly Gates’.

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Chinese Wedding Night

November 7, 2009 at 19:54 (Web) (, , , , , , , )

A young Chinese couple gets married.. She’s a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn’t know that.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.
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Apples and wine

October 21, 2009 at 19:39 (Web) (, , , , , , )

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take apples from
the ground that aren’t so good, but easy. The apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in reality, they’re amazing. The
just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave
enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
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Economic crisis joke

October 21, 2009 at 19:37 (Web) (, , , , )

Another funny joke a friend sent me.

Little Patrick asked for a bike for his birthday.
His dad said, ‘we’d get you one, but our mortgage
is £80000 and your mum has lost her job’

next day patrick walked out with his suitcase packed.
His dad asks ‘where r you going son?’. Patrick replied
‘I walked past your Bedroom last night and heard you
tell mum u were pulling out, then I heard mum tell
you to wait coz she was comin too. I’m not staying
here on me own with an £80000 mortgage and no fuckin bike’

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Black Board Joke

September 19, 2009 at 09:27 (Web) (, , , , )

One day when the teacher walked to the blackboard, she noticed someone had written the word ‘penis’ in tiny letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class.
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