Irish sex joke
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, ‘Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!’
That promptly won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
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Naked joke
A Bloke’s just moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While he was there a little peach of a bird in a robe came out of her apartment next to the mailboxes.
The bloke smiled at the young woman, and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
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Pride and Prejudice and…
I’m sure you’ve all heard of the wonderful (and outstandingly boring) Pride and Prejudice. A book about how the main character, an Elizabeth Bennet, deals with issues of manners, upbringing, moral rightness, education and marriage in her aristocratic society of early 19th century England. A gripping read as you can imagine.
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The Pearly Gates
40 Gypsies arrive at the Pearly Gates in their Transit vans and caravans.
St Peter goes into the gatehouse and phones up God, saying. ‘I’ve got 40
travellers here. Can I let them in?’
God says ‘We are over quota on Pikeys . Go out to the Pearly Gates and tell them to choose
between them which are the 12 most worthy, and I will let just the dozen in.’
Less than a minute later St Peter is on the phone to God again. ‘They’ve
gone’, he tells God.
‘What?’ says God, ‘All 40 of them?’
‘No, the Pearly Gates’.
Eye Test
Not sure if you need glasses? Look carefully at the picture below:
Chinese Wedding Night
A young Chinese couple gets married.. She’s a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn’t know that.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.
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Negligee joke
A husband walks into Victoria ‘s Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for
his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500
in price — the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for
the best, pays the $500 and takes it home.
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A night with rain
It rained again last night. This is the second time it has rained here in Fuengirola since the beginning of September. It’s been a fantastic post summer so far with warm (but cooling) evenings.
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Apples and wine
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take apples from
the ground that aren’t so good, but easy. The apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in reality, they’re amazing. The
just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave
enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
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